The ice cream man does not deserve to live.

Me: Ahhh! I didn't even have time to get my money!! DADDY KILL 'IM!!
Dad: }:) Okay. *malicious laughter*

Dad: An A-K47 will take him right out! *kch-kch BLAM* Or maybe we will wait until he comes around again.... mwahahaha... *pulls out a grenade, takes out the pin and holds the trigger down,waiting with an evilish smirk...* Go ahead, pass by. I dare you... }:)
Dad: Or maybe I will throw scissors at his windshield.
Me: But daddy, that doesn't cause explosions...
Dad: What about a tree? };)

Police officer: Excuse me, sir? Why are there fifteen  ice cream trucks blown up in front of your house?
Dad: They had engine problems *more malicious laughter*

Graci: LIAR! I used it this morning!
Dad: Don't call me a liar I'll hit you with an ice cream truck. *malicious chuckling is heard*

Dad: What's better than smelling cooking bacon? Eating it with toothpicks in itty bitty little pieces *evil chuckling*
Me: *giggles*
Dad: And my daughter laughs. She has the making for an evil villain... An evil, ice cream truck destroyer! Mwahahahahahaha. It takes a special person. A special person to destroy the twisted ice cream man... }:)

Dad: "The bacon was cooked,
          By the griddle with care
          In hopes that toothpicks
          Soon would be there."

Dad: *talking to our dog* Sadie, do you want to chase the ice cream man? He comes in thirty-one different flavors. Ahahahaha!!

Police man: What happened when the truck rolled over?
Dad: Thirty-one flavors became one... SPLONGEBLOB

Graci: Hey, is this Ashlyn?
Dad: Hey is this Ashlyn? Do you wanna buy an ice cream truck? }:) We have one for sale... *malicious laughter*

Dad: We can give it to her, but it only has one flavor. Splongeblob, mixed with a little bit of Spiderman, and topped with fudge, fudge push-pops.

Graci: Answer me so I can stop dying.
Dad: You're not dying. The ice cream man is dying. Look at him. Look at him run for his life... but it's not working because he's stuck in the Splongeblob! *evil laughter*

Dad: *has a revelation* You know what we could do?
Me: What?
Dad: We could make exploding tulips.
Me: Tulips, like the flower?
Dad: Yes.
Me: And do what with them?
Dad: Throw them at the ice cream truck. Mwahahahahaha!!