Dating

Don't worry, you all have plenty of time to hold the chair's hand.
~Mrs. Rowland

They tried... to eat me.

I had a dream awhile back... It was one of the weirdest/creepiest dreams I've ever had. It wasn't scary per se, but it was creepy.
    I was watching it, as though from a television screen, but I was also in it, but as a different person. I have brown hair and green eyes, but the person that I was in this dream had blue eyes and blonde hair.

I/she was chained to a bed by handcuffs, it was a head board with bars. So I was there and there was this guy. Pretty cute, brown hair, shortish, brown eyes. Athletic build. He was a caretaker because these monsters that HUGELY resembled the mucinex guys from the Mucinex commercial had mistaken him for a girl when he was a baby and kidnapped him, planning to eat him as they had planned for me/her. So instead of eating him they kept him around because they only eat girls. Pretty young girls.

Now I'm/she's laying on this bed, bored out of my/her ever-lovin' mind when this boy comes in again, with food. He starts to feed me/her the food, because I/she obviously can't do it myself/herself. And then he starts whispering frantically in my/her ear. He has an escape plan.

Just as we/they are about to put the plan in action the lead Monster comes into the room, which was on the third floor of an old abandoned apartment. He realizes what we/they were planning and starts shouting orders, so this guy pushes him out the window! And the Leader starts screaming even louder! He's gathering all his disgusting army! I'm/she's freaking out now but not nearly as much as this guy. Can't be older than 16, just about the same age as me/her. So now this guy de-handcuffs me/her because I/she am/is going to have to escape! But just as I'm/she's about to get off the bed the Leader comes in with three guys behind him and pushes me back down.

 He grabs my hands and starts to tie them with rope because the guy still had the handcuffs. But, he had expected this and we both took out fishing line and started tying up his hands. But this guy was having trouble tying his hands and so he ended up just tying one of his fingers, which didn't help.... And then, he was tied to the bed and I was free  so I jumped out the window.

Yeah, and then the dream ended. And that's pretty much it. It was a weird dream because I almost got eaten. It was a weirder dream because I almost got eaten by Mucinex freaks and it was creepy because... well, HELLO? Have you seen those creeps? **shiver**

The ice cream man does not deserve to live.

Me: Ahhh! I didn't even have time to get my money!! DADDY KILL 'IM!!
Dad: }:) Okay. *malicious laughter*

Dad: An A-K47 will take him right out! *kch-kch BLAM* Or maybe we will wait until he comes around again.... mwahahaha... *pulls out a grenade, takes out the pin and holds the trigger down,waiting with an evilish smirk...* Go ahead, pass by. I dare you... }:)
Dad: Or maybe I will throw scissors at his windshield.
Me: But daddy, that doesn't cause explosions...
Dad: What about a tree? };)

Police officer: Excuse me, sir? Why are there fifteen  ice cream trucks blown up in front of your house?
Dad: They had engine problems *more malicious laughter*

Graci: LIAR! I used it this morning!
Dad: Don't call me a liar I'll hit you with an ice cream truck. *malicious chuckling is heard*

Dad: What's better than smelling cooking bacon? Eating it with toothpicks in itty bitty little pieces *evil chuckling*
Me: *giggles*
Dad: And my daughter laughs. She has the making for an evil villain... An evil, ice cream truck destroyer! Mwahahahahahaha. It takes a special person. A special person to destroy the twisted ice cream man... }:)

Dad: "The bacon was cooked,
          By the griddle with care
          In hopes that toothpicks
          Soon would be there."

Dad: *talking to our dog* Sadie, do you want to chase the ice cream man? He comes in thirty-one different flavors. Ahahahaha!!

Police man: What happened when the truck rolled over?
Dad: Thirty-one flavors became one... SPLONGEBLOB

Graci: Hey, is this Ashlyn?
Dad: Hey is this Ashlyn? Do you wanna buy an ice cream truck? }:) We have one for sale... *malicious laughter*

Dad: We can give it to her, but it only has one flavor. Splongeblob, mixed with a little bit of Spiderman, and topped with fudge, fudge push-pops.

Graci: Answer me so I can stop dying.
Dad: You're not dying. The ice cream man is dying. Look at him. Look at him run for his life... but it's not working because he's stuck in the Splongeblob! *evil laughter*

Dad: *has a revelation* You know what we could do?
Me: What?
Dad: We could make exploding tulips.
Me: Tulips, like the flower?
Dad: Yes.
Me: And do what with them?
Dad: Throw them at the ice cream truck. Mwahahahahaha!!