I've been having trouble sleeping,
So I'm pretending that these pillows pressed against me are your body instead.
But it's been so long and I have been so lonely,
I've nearly forgotten how you truly feel.
The warmth of your smile,
The heat of your kiss,
The branding fire in your touch,
Claiming me as so irrevocably your own.
Oh, what I wouldn't give to have you here by my side,
Your face mine to touch,
Your lips mine to kiss,
Your self mine to cherish.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Lava Lamp
They tell me I am only part of a bigger picture. The tell me I should not question the way it is.
Since my creation I have gone through the ebb and flow of things and have been content. I am older now. I have watched carefully as others tried to drift apart, make their own way, only to find themselves stuck again within the same familiar pattern. I have seen the fall of great civilizations, burned out and resembling nothing but ash.
I have taken a few hits of my own, fallen a few times, climbed to the height of all glory only to be knocked down when my stability was taken out from underneath me.
I watch in the warped ways of my people, viewing things not as they are, but as we see them.
I am not alone. I am a piece in a greater whole. But we are not the same.
I long for a world outside my protective bubble, a world where I would be free to spread and explore, finally see the unperturbed sights I've been wanting after since my eyes were opened.
But they wouldn't understand. No one would. They are pieces in a greater whole and they are content. They love their lives and do not question it. But I, I am full of questions.
Since my creation I have gone through the ebb and flow of things and have been content. I am older now. I have watched carefully as others tried to drift apart, make their own way, only to find themselves stuck again within the same familiar pattern. I have seen the fall of great civilizations, burned out and resembling nothing but ash.
I have taken a few hits of my own, fallen a few times, climbed to the height of all glory only to be knocked down when my stability was taken out from underneath me.
I watch in the warped ways of my people, viewing things not as they are, but as we see them.
I am not alone. I am a piece in a greater whole. But we are not the same.
I long for a world outside my protective bubble, a world where I would be free to spread and explore, finally see the unperturbed sights I've been wanting after since my eyes were opened.
But they wouldn't understand. No one would. They are pieces in a greater whole and they are content. They love their lives and do not question it. But I, I am full of questions.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Curious
People are curious beings. It is as though they are constantly overcome with an urge to help others. It is not a kind thing, it can be, but it is mostly instinctual.
If one's pencil begins to roll, if another notices, they will attempt to stop it and put it at rights. If one's papers fall to the floor, often you will see others stop to help them pick things up. If someone runs into another, they apologize, sometimes even if it was the other's fault.
Some people do not have these urges. If the pencil rolls, they avert their eyes. If papers are strewn about they step over them, or maybe even upon them. If they run into another, they blame them.
Indeed, they are curious. Some that seem kind, are cruel. Like an elegant Venus fly trap waiting to snap. And contrary wise, those that appear cruel, may be soft-hearted.
There are some, that when one falls down, will laugh at them and leave; others will chuckle good humoredly and help them on their feet once more; other still, will gasp in horror and rush to their side, asking if they're okay, insisting they get checked out; and yet, others may not react at all. They may simply look on from afar, or never notice and merely continue along their way, never having been bothered to intersect their life-bubble with another stranger's.
It is not so hard to see why they cannot see themselves in a proper lighting; after all, whenever they do get a good look at themselves it is entirely reverse of how everyone else views them. They carefully hone in on each of their flaws, being that they are with themselves every moment of every day from conception to death, this is also not difficult to picture. They are closer and have a different perspective on their bodies and minds. They see what others do not. But they do not see how they look when their eyes light up with excitement or the explosive way their joy happily spreads to others.
No, they only see their own flaws.
Sometimes they pick out the flaws in others, some do not, some can only do this. But others' flaws are not so bad as their own seem. And with time, the closer together the two strangers become, the less the flaws are noticed and the more prominent become the wonderful, admirable qualities that make them special.
Yes, the more thought put into them the more curious people become. How painfully they seek attention; wanting after it like a newborn gasps for its first taste of air. They speak and cry and smile and express themselves in the most noticeable of ways, and when they are ignored, they may fall to pieces, or their expressions may become louder. But they are never truly ignored, for someone has seen them and is debating if they should go to them and talk to them, perhaps ask them what's wrong, or what they're smiling about, what are they laughing about, are they okay, how was their weekend? Someone sees.
Every time someone expresses themselves, someone sees. Someone cares.
Compassionate, cruel, candid, contemptuous, coddled, confused, curious beings, people are.
If one's pencil begins to roll, if another notices, they will attempt to stop it and put it at rights. If one's papers fall to the floor, often you will see others stop to help them pick things up. If someone runs into another, they apologize, sometimes even if it was the other's fault.
Some people do not have these urges. If the pencil rolls, they avert their eyes. If papers are strewn about they step over them, or maybe even upon them. If they run into another, they blame them.
Indeed, they are curious. Some that seem kind, are cruel. Like an elegant Venus fly trap waiting to snap. And contrary wise, those that appear cruel, may be soft-hearted.
There are some, that when one falls down, will laugh at them and leave; others will chuckle good humoredly and help them on their feet once more; other still, will gasp in horror and rush to their side, asking if they're okay, insisting they get checked out; and yet, others may not react at all. They may simply look on from afar, or never notice and merely continue along their way, never having been bothered to intersect their life-bubble with another stranger's.
It is not so hard to see why they cannot see themselves in a proper lighting; after all, whenever they do get a good look at themselves it is entirely reverse of how everyone else views them. They carefully hone in on each of their flaws, being that they are with themselves every moment of every day from conception to death, this is also not difficult to picture. They are closer and have a different perspective on their bodies and minds. They see what others do not. But they do not see how they look when their eyes light up with excitement or the explosive way their joy happily spreads to others.
No, they only see their own flaws.
Sometimes they pick out the flaws in others, some do not, some can only do this. But others' flaws are not so bad as their own seem. And with time, the closer together the two strangers become, the less the flaws are noticed and the more prominent become the wonderful, admirable qualities that make them special.
Yes, the more thought put into them the more curious people become. How painfully they seek attention; wanting after it like a newborn gasps for its first taste of air. They speak and cry and smile and express themselves in the most noticeable of ways, and when they are ignored, they may fall to pieces, or their expressions may become louder. But they are never truly ignored, for someone has seen them and is debating if they should go to them and talk to them, perhaps ask them what's wrong, or what they're smiling about, what are they laughing about, are they okay, how was their weekend? Someone sees.
Every time someone expresses themselves, someone sees. Someone cares.
Compassionate, cruel, candid, contemptuous, coddled, confused, curious beings, people are.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Saturday, June 1, 2013
The Magic Mountain
So, my German teacher let me borrow a book from him, called the Magic Mountain, and I've been trying to read it.
It's really super long. I mean, 716 pages of long. I have successfully read 104 pages in a grand total of 3 or 4 weeks. I'm not really sure I'm going to finish it.
We only have another week of school left and I need to finish it before then because I need to give it back to my teacher.
We have exams coming up and, well... I don't think I'm going to fail them, and to be honest, I don't think I'm going to study for them either. I think that I'm going to try and spend much much more time on my story. I want to print it out and then revise it. *nod*
We'll see how it goes.
Hoping that you're enjoying the warm weather!
Love~!
It's really super long. I mean, 716 pages of long. I have successfully read 104 pages in a grand total of 3 or 4 weeks. I'm not really sure I'm going to finish it.
We only have another week of school left and I need to finish it before then because I need to give it back to my teacher.
We have exams coming up and, well... I don't think I'm going to fail them, and to be honest, I don't think I'm going to study for them either. I think that I'm going to try and spend much much more time on my story. I want to print it out and then revise it. *nod*
We'll see how it goes.
Hoping that you're enjoying the warm weather!
Love~!
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