Do I mean anything?
Am I anything more than another face in a sea of features?
Am I worth anything?
Or am I just another person you wish hadn't texted?
Do you still like me?
Or am I only good for listening to your problems?
It would be an honor to be your diary,
If you would even use me for that.
Because being ignored and left unanswered by you is a far worse punishment
For a crime I didn't know that I committed.
I'm sorry if I'm unimportant to you.
I'm sorry if my texts annoy you.
But you were all I had,
And I don't want to let you go just yet.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Crying
Crying is more than merely 'shedding tears'. Crying is an outlet that happens when your mind and your heart seize up as one. Pain makes people cry. Not just physical pain, but emotional pain.
When your heart contracts so tightly that you think it's going to disappear entirely if you don't find some way to relieve the pressure -that's when you cry.
When you kill yourself with the words for your shortcomings and failures you drown in a self-imposed sorrow and your heart tries to climb out of your throat.
Your eyes sting and your throat burns so painfully. The tears are hot, but when you wipe them away they feel as cold as the shoulder that put you in this position in the first place.
Your stomach hurts and you curl in on yourself as wave after wave of intolerable pain washes over and through your body. It soaks into your heart and you scream silently into the air. You scream so silently that your throat hurts worse than ever but you can't stop. You kick your legs out and pound your fists and then draw them in quickly as the spell is broken and a sob finally wracks its way through your body. A few more sobs escape and you could scream again the pain hurts so much.
You rock yourself. Trying to make the hurt go away. Trying to make your breathing steady, but it doesn't work, not yet. Another sob, another wave of hurt. Your breathing is ragged right now, but soon you're okay again. The hurt is gone but for a hollow ache in you chest and a left over sting on your eyelids where your salt tears blazed their path.
Don't you see? Crying is your body's strongest stress coping mechanism. It's the only way to deal with unbearable pain. How else could you ever relax your heart? It refreshes you, even if for a while it makes you feel weak. You aren't weak. Reread above. You just went through emotions and physical feelings of torture and you came out on top. Congratulations, fighter.
When your heart contracts so tightly that you think it's going to disappear entirely if you don't find some way to relieve the pressure -that's when you cry.
When you kill yourself with the words for your shortcomings and failures you drown in a self-imposed sorrow and your heart tries to climb out of your throat.
Your eyes sting and your throat burns so painfully. The tears are hot, but when you wipe them away they feel as cold as the shoulder that put you in this position in the first place.
Your stomach hurts and you curl in on yourself as wave after wave of intolerable pain washes over and through your body. It soaks into your heart and you scream silently into the air. You scream so silently that your throat hurts worse than ever but you can't stop. You kick your legs out and pound your fists and then draw them in quickly as the spell is broken and a sob finally wracks its way through your body. A few more sobs escape and you could scream again the pain hurts so much.
You rock yourself. Trying to make the hurt go away. Trying to make your breathing steady, but it doesn't work, not yet. Another sob, another wave of hurt. Your breathing is ragged right now, but soon you're okay again. The hurt is gone but for a hollow ache in you chest and a left over sting on your eyelids where your salt tears blazed their path.
Don't you see? Crying is your body's strongest stress coping mechanism. It's the only way to deal with unbearable pain. How else could you ever relax your heart? It refreshes you, even if for a while it makes you feel weak. You aren't weak. Reread above. You just went through emotions and physical feelings of torture and you came out on top. Congratulations, fighter.
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